Engaged Buddhism

Dealing with Change

2007-04-01T17:28:00.000-07:00

Life in every aspect is ever-changing, unpredictable, and uncontrollable by most standards. Our ability to deal with all of the unknowns-change, in particular, will rarely determine the outcome of our journey.

Change is a great check and balance to the unbridled ego. And more importantly without change this beautiful life would not be possible. It is important to see change as a friend and not an enemy. Too often I curse change and see it as an obstacle rather then a Great Teacher and guide along the path.

Dealing productively with change is recognizing the possibilities for hearing something in a new way or for seeing that you do not have to react in the way you always have. You have an enormous amount of control over your emotions, you can make a conscious decision to be calm in the face of a difficult situation as opposed to getting upset or depressed.

I have recently started reading a book titled Wherever You Go, There You are by John Kabat-Zinn. It is a wonderful book about mindful meditation in everyday life. I have particularly enjoyed the chapter entitled “You Can’t Stop the Waves but You Can Learn to Surf”. Those words have given me a completely new, inspiring and fresh perspective on life and change. The message is that we must all understand that stress is an inevitable part of life. And while we can learn to make intelligent choices to prevent things from becoming worse, there are a lot of things in life over which we have little or no control. But that doesn’t mean that we have to be victim. We can learn to work with these new forces, understand them, and use their energies to increase our strength, wisdom, and compassion.

I have finally learned the lesson that I can choose how I respond to my set of circumstances. I can be resistant, which only lets stress and fear continue to build. Or I can choose to open myself up and be willing to work with whatever it is that lies ahead of me. This kind of acceptance of a situation doesn’t mean hanging your head in resignation. It’s merely embracing how things are in that moment and like any wave that inevitably breaks against the shore, I cannot stop it, but I can learn to surf it.

The truth that I am apart of a large web of inter-being gives me great peace realizing that I am not alone no matter how alone I might feel at the time. I am just one spoke in the wheel of a great vehicle (in fact Mahayana translates roughly to "the greater vehicle") that no one started, can name, label or end and being a small yet not insignificant part of that brings great understanding and grounding of what life is about. The Great Project. It gives one profound peace knowing that the Universe is unfolding as it should. There is nothing to do or undo. Things are going to go the way they are going to go and there is frankly not much that we can control.

An Inconvenient Truth

2007-04-01T17:25:00.000-07:00

I have been convinced of the truth of global warming from the first time I became aware of the issue and saw the evidence several years ago. My understanding of global warming was greatly increased this weekend after watching the film “An Inconvenient Truth”. It solidified my firm stance to help our environment and to the severity of the threat that it is facing and suffering from by global warming.

Al Gore presents the argument in a convincing, powerful and complete powerpoint presentation to a live audience. He covers the subject from all possible angles and addresses the counter-points, shows how they fall short and deconstructs them with vigor and in totality. He then shows what we can do to help bring us back from the point of no return but he warns (and shows through the presentation) and admonishes us that we are quickly running out of time.

This is a must see documentary whether you currently agree or disagree with global warming. If you see one documentary in your life or this year then make this one it. It may not be the most entertaining, but it is perhaps the most important movie to see in the history of film. You will come away with a very solid understanding of the current threats facing our fragile and beautiful environment. Then after seeing this film urge all of your friends and family member to see it.

Even if you still do not agree with global warming after watching this film I beg of you that we should take action. If for no other reason then it is better to be safe then sorry. After all, we only have one planet and we must take precautions and measures to help Mother Earth survive and support human life for generations to come. Do it for your children and grandchildren.

Gore's forecast is serious, but he knows better than to leave us in despair. There is room for hope. He insists that the solutions to the problem are within reach; we are only lacking the political will to do anything about what he calls a "moral imperative." Indeed: anybody who takes a long-term interest in the state of the planet--say, more than next hurricane season--would do well to see “An Inconvenient Truth”. It would be a welcome surprise if this well-crafted and well-argued film actually started a national debate about the very real threat of global warming.

Empowerment from Letting Go

2007-03-29T05:09:00.000-07:00

Remembering a wrong is like carrying a burden on the mind. ~Buddha

If you let go of the power that negativity has over you, your highest unencumbered self will become the source of all your power. Your backbone will be strong, and negative energy will not weigh you down.

During times of crisis you must deal with, and let go of, many pent-up feelings. These are times when you find yourself questioning much in your life. You look inside and outside yourself to find the answers. You witness yourself going through incredible change, and you try to decide how best to deal with it. Like many people, I went through a time like this.

I have greatly suffered from the vicious cycle of guilt and shame and understand this process very well. I made one of the most difficult decisions of my life when I decided I could no longer be with my previous partner, my first true love you could call him. We met in my first year of college, and I truly believed he was the person I would spend the rest of my life with. As time passed, we slowly began to grow apart and our differences no longer cultivated excitement, attraction and chemistry in our relationship, these differences inevitably caused feelings of incompatibility, animosity and resentment towards each other. Sometimes I wonder if things could have changed if we would have stayed with one another and tried to work things out. I also sometimes wonder if we did not say or do the offensive things we did to one another if we could still be friends. Now I have come to realize that some things are simply not meant to be, and I have worked hard on being in the moment and am now slowly learning how to let go of guilt through meditation and concentrating upon mindfulness.

The healing process of my breakup took longer than I thought it would, but it would have taken even more time if I had not let go. Holding on to anger, resentment, and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache, and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. It tires you out and wears you down. These emotional thieves rob you of time that you could spend being happy and having fun.

Through reflection, I have come to realize that carrying guilt around in our minds is like hiking up a mountain and picking up every rock we stub our toe upon and throwing it in our backpack. Thinking about all the "shoulda, coulda and woulda’s is unskillful. It is unnecessary suffering and it stems from a belief in a separate self. That somehow we are so important that we should suffer more than anyone else should. It is also the belief that we are so powerful that we can actually revisit these past unskillful actions and somehow in reliving them change the result, we simply need to learn to accept things as they are.

Through meditation we can practice letting go of the burdens within our mind via deep breathing. Further, meditation is like a reset button that we can push to return us to the sharp wisdom of the present moment. Bringing us back to our natural state of peace, relaxation and freedom from the specter of invented ghosts, which the ego-self creates, for its need of chaos and drama to feed "itself" and survive.

Mindfulness brings us back to the present moment as well. It keeps our attention upon what is going on in our present reality. Keeping us focused and aware. This keeps us from falling one step behind ourselves which leads us to trip over obstacles along our path because we are so focused on reliving the past that we do not see them coming. Obstacles, which throw us off of the trail of, balanced Reality of the present moment and into the waiting arms of the ego-self. Staying mindful of the present moment allows us to be aware of obstacles rising up and have the mental clarity to move safely around them.

May we all be more aware of the present moment and not pick up rocks. And if we do, may we only hold them for only a moment and throw them innocently back down onto the path and not into our backpacks to carry around like a martyr.

I believe that when you finally get out from under that cloud and let go of all those negative feelings, it is the most empowering feeling you can ever know. Having the ability to let go and find forgiveness gives you back your laughter and the lightness in your life. A heart filled with anger has no room for love…

I love life today.

Self Care & Finding the Perfect Balance

2007-03-04T14:58:00.000-08:00

Many of us have so many responsibilities in life that we forget to take care of ourselves. And while it’s hard to prioritize something like taking a bath when you have so many other priorities in life, self-care is an important aspect of stress management.
My life, like most people’s, is full of roles, and layers. I’m a full time student, I have a full time career working with individuals with physical disabilities, I am a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend and a friend.

This year has been particularly stressful and overwhelming for me, as I have been trying to balance all of my responsibilities and obligations relating to work and school for the first time. Never before during my four years in university have I attempted to work full time while going to school, and I must admit, I now know why. It is a constant struggle with trying to maintain good grades on top of fulfilling my workplace duties and expectations; I am trying to prove myself in two different worlds. Oftentimes, I feel as though my candle is being burned from both ends, and with the little free time I do have; I usually want to curl up in my bed, and fall asleep underneath my warm blankets.

I balance my day by ensuring I get at least 8 hours of sleep, and while I find time to fulfill my many commitments to others, I now make sure to find time for my own needs as well. I schedule time in my week for a bath, and I try to get exercise at least 3 times a week, although I am not always able to manage this. It has become a priority for me to find that balance in my life.

I have recently incorporated meditation into my daily routine as a means to alleviate some of the stress and anxiety I have been experiencing, and it has truly worked wonders for me.
If I had to say that there was a miracle cure for almost every problem in life, I would have to choose breathing. This discovery came as such a revelation for me, since it’s something that we all take for granted. Most of us don’t realize we can use relaxed breathing to help control our emotions, reduce stress, quiet our body, and focus on our thoughts-all things that we want to cultivate and weave throughout every aspect of our lives.

If you are tense and stressed, which I have certainly been feeling lately, breathing can return your body to a normal level. If you are facing an important decision, stop and breathe. Whenever you have a question in your mind about what to do next or how to do it, just breathe. Breathing is the most crucial element of strong emotional and spiritual health. How you feel shows in the way you breathe.

I have actually found that the most useful form of meditation is conscious breathing and being aware of the present moment and recognizing that is it a wonderful moment. The great thing about this meditation is that you can practice it anywhere, I have experienced conscious breathing at home, sitting on the bus, at school, at work, at a coffee shop, wherever I am, and at any time throughout the day.
There are so many exercises that one can practice to help them breath consciously, besides the simple "In-Out" exercise, I usually recite these four lines silently as I breathe in and out:

Breathing in, I calm my body.
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment,
I know this is a wonderful moment.

"Breathing in, I calm my body". Reciting this line is like drinking a glass of cool lemonade on a hot day-you can feel the coolness permeate your body. When I breathe in and recite this line, I actually feel my breath calming my body and mind.
"Breathing out, I smile". It is a known fact that smiling can relax hundreds of muscles in your face. Wearing a smile on your face is a sign that you are a master of yourself.
"Dwelling in the present moment." While I sit here, I do not think of anything else. I sit here, and I know exactly where I am.
"I know this is a wonderful moment". It is a joy to sit, stable and at ease, and return to my breathing, my smiling, my true nature. My appointment with life is in the present moment.
If we do not have peace and joy right now, when will we have peace and joy-tomorrow, or the day after? I ask myself, what is preventing me from being happy right now in this very moment. Why am I so stressed?
As I follow my breathing, I simply say, "Calming, Smiling, Present Moment, Wonderful Moment" and all of my negatives feelings seem to wash away.
Perhaps my greatest revelation about meditation is that it has given me the ability to live for today and to enjoy each moment. I used to always spend my todays making my plans for my tomorrows. Meditation provides me with the ability to embrace each moment.

I believe that every human being has an innate desire for happiness and does not want to suffer. I also believe that the very purpose of life is to experience this happiness. I believe that each and every one of us has the same potential to develop inner peace and thereby achieve happiness and joy. Whether we are rich or poor, educated or uneducated, black or white, from the East or the West, our potential is equal. We are all the same, mentally and emotionally.

In addition to the conscious breathing, I have also been practicing the meditation on love on a weekly basis in order to increase my sense of love, compassion, joy, and equanimity to myself and others around me. I find that it is more beneficial for me to do this meditation in the early morning when I awake, as at this time my mind is clear and I am completely impartial to my environment. As a sit quietly with my legs crossed in front of me, close my eyes, listen to track number two on the pine gate meditation CD, and concentrate on my in and out breath I begin my meditation on love;

"I bring love to myself, I bring compassion to someone I love, I bring joy to someone I am neutral about, and I bring equanimity to someone I am having difficulties with".

I have come to the realization that the meditation on love is not just sitting still and visualizing that my love, compassion, joy and equanimity will spread out into space like waves of sound or light. Sound and light have the ability to penetrate everywhere, and love, compassion, joy and equanimity can certainly have the power to do the same. If our love is only a kind of imagination, then it is not likely to have any real effect. It is in the midst of our daily life and in our actual contact with others that we can know whether our mind of love is really present and how stable it actually is. If love is real, I believe it will be evident in our daily lives, in the way in which we relate with people and the world.

The source of love is deep within us, and we can help others realize a lot of happiness through love. As Thich Nhat Hanh states "one word, one action, or one thought can reduce another person’s suffering and bring him joy". One word can give comfort and confidence, destroy doubts, help someone avoid a mistake, reconcile a conflict, or open the door to liberation. One action can save a person’s life or help them take advantage of a rare opportunity. One thought can do the same, because thoughts always lead to words and actions.

If love is truly in our hearts, every thought, word, and deed can bring about a miracle. I believe that understanding is the very foundation of love, words, and actions that emerge from our love are always helpful.

"May the poor find wealth,
Those weak with sorrow find joy.
May the forlorn find new hope,
Constant happiness and prosperity.
May the frightened cease to be afraid,
And those bound be free.
May the weak find power,
And may their hearts join in friendship".

The Dalai Lama: An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life