Self Care & Finding the Perfect Balance

Many of us have so many responsibilities in life that we forget to take care of ourselves. And while it’s hard to prioritize something like taking a bath when you have so many other priorities in life, self-care is an important aspect of stress management.
My life, like most people’s, is full of roles, and layers. I’m a full time student, I have a full time career working with individuals with physical disabilities, I am a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend and a friend.

This year has been particularly stressful and overwhelming for me, as I have been trying to balance all of my responsibilities and obligations relating to work and school for the first time. Never before during my four years in university have I attempted to work full time while going to school, and I must admit, I now know why. It is a constant struggle with trying to maintain good grades on top of fulfilling my workplace duties and expectations; I am trying to prove myself in two different worlds. Oftentimes, I feel as though my candle is being burned from both ends, and with the little free time I do have; I usually want to curl up in my bed, and fall asleep underneath my warm blankets.

I balance my day by ensuring I get at least 8 hours of sleep, and while I find time to fulfill my many commitments to others, I now make sure to find time for my own needs as well. I schedule time in my week for a bath, and I try to get exercise at least 3 times a week, although I am not always able to manage this. It has become a priority for me to find that balance in my life.

I have recently incorporated meditation into my daily routine as a means to alleviate some of the stress and anxiety I have been experiencing, and it has truly worked wonders for me.
If I had to say that there was a miracle cure for almost every problem in life, I would have to choose breathing. This discovery came as such a revelation for me, since it’s something that we all take for granted. Most of us don’t realize we can use relaxed breathing to help control our emotions, reduce stress, quiet our body, and focus on our thoughts-all things that we want to cultivate and weave throughout every aspect of our lives.

If you are tense and stressed, which I have certainly been feeling lately, breathing can return your body to a normal level. If you are facing an important decision, stop and breathe. Whenever you have a question in your mind about what to do next or how to do it, just breathe. Breathing is the most crucial element of strong emotional and spiritual health. How you feel shows in the way you breathe.

I have actually found that the most useful form of meditation is conscious breathing and being aware of the present moment and recognizing that is it a wonderful moment. The great thing about this meditation is that you can practice it anywhere, I have experienced conscious breathing at home, sitting on the bus, at school, at work, at a coffee shop, wherever I am, and at any time throughout the day.
There are so many exercises that one can practice to help them breath consciously, besides the simple "In-Out" exercise, I usually recite these four lines silently as I breathe in and out:

Breathing in, I calm my body.
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment,
I know this is a wonderful moment.

"Breathing in, I calm my body". Reciting this line is like drinking a glass of cool lemonade on a hot day-you can feel the coolness permeate your body. When I breathe in and recite this line, I actually feel my breath calming my body and mind.
"Breathing out, I smile". It is a known fact that smiling can relax hundreds of muscles in your face. Wearing a smile on your face is a sign that you are a master of yourself.
"Dwelling in the present moment." While I sit here, I do not think of anything else. I sit here, and I know exactly where I am.
"I know this is a wonderful moment". It is a joy to sit, stable and at ease, and return to my breathing, my smiling, my true nature. My appointment with life is in the present moment.
If we do not have peace and joy right now, when will we have peace and joy-tomorrow, or the day after? I ask myself, what is preventing me from being happy right now in this very moment. Why am I so stressed?
As I follow my breathing, I simply say, "Calming, Smiling, Present Moment, Wonderful Moment" and all of my negatives feelings seem to wash away.
Perhaps my greatest revelation about meditation is that it has given me the ability to live for today and to enjoy each moment. I used to always spend my todays making my plans for my tomorrows. Meditation provides me with the ability to embrace each moment.

I believe that every human being has an innate desire for happiness and does not want to suffer. I also believe that the very purpose of life is to experience this happiness. I believe that each and every one of us has the same potential to develop inner peace and thereby achieve happiness and joy. Whether we are rich or poor, educated or uneducated, black or white, from the East or the West, our potential is equal. We are all the same, mentally and emotionally.

In addition to the conscious breathing, I have also been practicing the meditation on love on a weekly basis in order to increase my sense of love, compassion, joy, and equanimity to myself and others around me. I find that it is more beneficial for me to do this meditation in the early morning when I awake, as at this time my mind is clear and I am completely impartial to my environment. As a sit quietly with my legs crossed in front of me, close my eyes, listen to track number two on the pine gate meditation CD, and concentrate on my in and out breath I begin my meditation on love;

"I bring love to myself, I bring compassion to someone I love, I bring joy to someone I am neutral about, and I bring equanimity to someone I am having difficulties with".

I have come to the realization that the meditation on love is not just sitting still and visualizing that my love, compassion, joy and equanimity will spread out into space like waves of sound or light. Sound and light have the ability to penetrate everywhere, and love, compassion, joy and equanimity can certainly have the power to do the same. If our love is only a kind of imagination, then it is not likely to have any real effect. It is in the midst of our daily life and in our actual contact with others that we can know whether our mind of love is really present and how stable it actually is. If love is real, I believe it will be evident in our daily lives, in the way in which we relate with people and the world.

The source of love is deep within us, and we can help others realize a lot of happiness through love. As Thich Nhat Hanh states "one word, one action, or one thought can reduce another person’s suffering and bring him joy". One word can give comfort and confidence, destroy doubts, help someone avoid a mistake, reconcile a conflict, or open the door to liberation. One action can save a person’s life or help them take advantage of a rare opportunity. One thought can do the same, because thoughts always lead to words and actions.

If love is truly in our hearts, every thought, word, and deed can bring about a miracle. I believe that understanding is the very foundation of love, words, and actions that emerge from our love are always helpful.

"May the poor find wealth,
Those weak with sorrow find joy.
May the forlorn find new hope,
Constant happiness and prosperity.
May the frightened cease to be afraid,
And those bound be free.
May the weak find power,
And may their hearts join in friendship".

The Dalai Lama: An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life